Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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