Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
