How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize
