Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
