So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
