No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
