Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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