my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
