If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
