haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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