Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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