I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
