Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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