I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
