i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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