Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
