Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
