I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
