I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Randomize
