I swear she didn't look like that last week.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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