is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
No more Irish car bombs ever.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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