My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Randomize
