somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
