i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
