It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
