Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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