problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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