one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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