I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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