I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
