we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I FOUND THE LEGS
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
