Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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