Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
