I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
