I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize