good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Randomize
