Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
