I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
