I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Randomize
