and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
40s are totally the cure
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
