If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
