eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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