People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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