I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
