I wannas sexs uuuuu
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
...so i touched it.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
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