How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
