If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
