Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
You pole danced in your parka.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
