he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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