you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Shame - the story of my life.
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