Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
